#okay I'm done before I get too into it-

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[spotaus]

Hehe >:]

Yeag those tags ended up running WAY long lol!

Uhhh. Killer! I love this scenario bunches, because despite Night being entirely aware that Killer was alive and fine, he probably would've panicked! I imagine it being kinda like this:

Nightmare does his training with Killer, abd by this point Killer is taking it seriously. While Night is by no means trying to kill him, it hurts when a tendril manages to smack into his skull or trip him up, and while it's annoying, it can also be... kinda fun? He's caught Nightmare cracking a smile a few times at the very least. Looking pleased, with himself, sure, but Killer's pretty sure those smiles always showed up before an attack pattern changed. Like he saw Killer getting stronger.

Nightmare from the start had told Killer his objective was to get close, but Killer hadn't had the opportunity to break past his defenses just yet. *Until that day*. When Killer jolted forward, knife raised out of habit, and prepared to slam into the King to get past his stupid training. (If he touched Nightmare, he would get the next week off.) Of course, he did *not* expect the usually pretty mild attacks to sharpen and for one to wrap his arm, squeeze it tight, and chuck him away.

There was a snap, but he landed pretty decently for having been put off-guard. Now *that* had been fun. Exciting. Not the training wheel baby settings. He was ready to go charging back in, but he realized Nightmare had pulled back all of his magic, and his tendrils were doing that twitching thing again. 'Scared, afraid, bad,'. There was a weird look in his eyelight.

Nightnare had been short, a little 'You're hurt. Training is over, go to the healer.' And when Killer tried to laugh off the little fracture, Nightmare had ordered him to leave. Now. So he had.

But it was weird. Killer had *definitely* been hurt worse, and this was the same guy who was willing to watch him hang a month ago? He was pretty tame, sure, but that felt out of character. Unneededly careful. So he got the healing done (the crack really hadn't been that bad) and headed back to try and ask for answers. The training time wasn't even over yet, and Killer had done what the King was looking for?

But when he gets back to the training room, there aren't any guards (there usually are) and the door was slightly ajar. Just enough for him to get a glimpse inside and catch the lil dialogue you had above. Ccino comforting Nightmare, and Nightmare. Well.

Killer knew that grown men didn't usually just, curl up like that. Nightmare, curled up in Ccino's arms, like some sort of kid. Shaking, his tendrils more active, more ferally yelling 'BAD, HURT, NO' but not a single one smacking into Ccino.

Killer had no clue what was going on there, but he knew it was something he shouldn't have seen, and he makes the choice to silently pull the door closed that extra inch. He thinks about it a lot, a LOT, and comes to no solid conclusion. Ccino obviously meant a lot to the King, but the way they interacted was *not* that of secret lovers. Not at all. So he decided he'd be more observant. Because what he saw back there was a vulnerable, hurt, *traumatized*, person. Killer didn't think a normal person would get that freaked out about an attack during training, anyhow, unless they had reason for it.

Then, the next day, Nightmare canceled training, but asked to see him. Checked on his arm wound, and apologized for reacting so harshly. If he had been thinking, then Killer wouldn't have gotten so badly hurt. (And Killer has a very stark realization that, maybe that freak-out was partly the attack, but partly worry for hurting *him* which feels insane.) But he actually plays it off, saying he can take more than that, before admitting the quick reaction-timinh was good. That they should train like that more often. (Queue Killer getting attached to his weirdly emotional King, and deciding he'll play along until he gets bored or dies. He definitely does neither. It also stops being a game.)

Ough- and Ccino!!!

Night would feel so so horrible the moment he found those old documents. I think his blood would run cold and he'd be horrified. (One at the thought that his mother would do that, two at the thought that *Dream* would do that, and three at a much more childish horrible cringe level of imagining Dream being with Ccino in that way because a) his Twin is bad at romance + Ccino is not his type, and b) Ccino deserves better!) And all of these kinda just dog pile him at once until he's an anxious mess... he probably focuses really heavily on that for a while, the kinda episode like in the drabble (asking Ccino about his freedom) happens several more times until Nightmare finally accepts it. (Probably when the Mask is being made, he has a few more attacks in worry of Ccino lying for his sake, but Ccino stomps out those fears quickly.)

And broooo. I know my tags went on about it, but the idea that Ccino wonders whether him stepping in was the right move then? Because, yeah, he had so many pressures and dreads, but in the moment all he knew was that his two charges were at odds, stressed, and one of them (the more flightly and afraid) now had godlike powers. Honestly, he was half convinced he'd be skewered getting between the teens, but it was his job, and it was what he *wanted* to do.

Also the image of Ccino getting between them? All dressed up and meant to be a perfect offering for a newly adult, newly god-like, Dream, getting between them... and facing Dream. Back turned to Nightmare, the one who was the obvious threat in any sane-person's eyes, because he knew that *Dream* was the one who was angry, who had already acted in violence (and fear, but less) and Nightmare was there one who was afraid and preparing to retaliate. In his mind, this was just another case of the twins getting into their rare squabbles. This time, Dream was ultimately the one who didn't try to talk it out. He had to show Nightmare that it was *Dream* who set the bad example first. A lil bit of showing trust and preying to the gods it came across.

But yeah. Just. Wild...

(And as a person who *just* thought of this, I gotta say that if Ccino hadn't gotten in the way there, Night would've definitely given into the Apple's reflex and killed Dream. The unfamiliar magic between them confused the Apple enough for Nightmare to realize what was going on-)

OH I almost forgot Dream w/ his sudden realization- Idk exactly where u were thinking this would go in the timeline (I read the 'with Blue' to imply sometime after the two of them ran away together, but it could *also* be later when they're in the Dungeon or smth-) But a teen Dream, now as old as Ccino was during the ritual, probably sleeping curled up next to Blue (because Blue is warm and it's safer to sleep close, obviously- nothing more-) and he has a weird stress Dream that compiles into Ccino's face and he just sits up. All sweaty and face a huge blush of yellow because "Oh gods noooo." Because it just clicked for him that his mother did *not* mean Ccino would be his as in 'your servant/butler/etc.' And she totally meant mate. Betroathed. Lil side-piece.

And he is just HORRIFIED because he can't fathom it. Not that Ccino wasn't handsome, but that was his babysitter! He was the one who gave him and his twin baths up until they could do it themselves! He fed them as toddlers when mother was too busy! He followed them around when they wanted to get into trouble and told them no! NOT someone he'd ever have feelings for, nor would he even humor the idea of making heirs. (Now it made sense why mother seemed so disappointed when he expressed that he thought the guard members were pretty or handsome (Pan King me-thinks) though.)

And Blue wakes up, because Dream is literally shaking in embarrassment and red hot confusion/frustration, and blearily asks him what's wrong. And. Dream just can't explain it. Blue comforts him anyways, assuming it was a night terror.

And... the haunting idea that Ccino's role for him was given to Night? He can't imagine his twin would do something like that, but he *had* always been Ccino's favorite... and then he spends like 3 nights in a row trying to forget that he even figured that out in the first place. It kicks off the solidification of his twisted perspective on the whole thing.

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Understanding

Hey @spotaus !! As promised :3 I got a little something for you!

Your drabble got me thinking and made me consider something. (also i am so sorry if i got the ages wrong. I really tried)

As always. Feel free to use whatever you want from it or just ignore what doesn't fit <3 I am just having fun and it is meant as a gift for you <3 (also to motivate you to keep writing more about it!)

*------------------------*

Nightmare gets off his horse as he stares at the castle.

Well. His castle now.

He is still not quite used to that. Refering to it with his castle instead of his mother's.

Even after almost 12 months. He still doesn't expect to see himself in the mirror. or maybe the problem is that he expects his old self. The young teen.

The weakling. The failure.

No focus.

He isn't that anymore. He now has the magic. He is the new powerful leader of his land. And he will make this work. Even if he still has no idea what he is doing.

No. He needs to get back and make sure no one tried to rebel against him. That no one tried to hurt Ccino while he was gone.

Nightmare gets off the horse and someone rushes over to take the horse. Nightmare stares at this person and figures out quickly it is the stablehand who has been taking care of the horses.

Nightmare looks over his shoulder and motions the new people to follow him. The set of brothers, the dog monster. and Killer.

Nightmare walks into the castle as he speaks "Some of the other servants will take you to your chambers to rest and clean up. Tomorrow the three of you will join some of my other staff to see what is needed and where you fit. Killer. You will-"

"My liege."

Nightmare blinks and looks over.

Ccino has appeared out of one of the servant secret passages and walks straight towards him. Nightmare can see, and feel, when Ccino takes in the new people and just who they are.

Ccino's face turns a bit harder and Nightmare can feel the annoyance and frustration in the air "My liege!" Ccino smiles brightly as he speaks "Have you eben succesfull in finding a possible knight?"

Killer chuckles behind him and mutters "someone is in trouble~"

Nightmare knows Killer is being sarcastic. But if only Killer knew how right he was.

Nightmare however could never be worried or afraid off Ccino. For him? Maybe. But never because of him. He gives a tiny nod. The only amount of respect their places and ranks allow them when others are near "Ccino." He waves into the direction of the new arrivals "These people will join my workers." He looks at the four new arrivals "This. Is Ccino. He is head of the house." a title that will never pass away from him. Not as long as Nightmare is in charge.

Ccino nods "Pleasure." he looks back at Nightmare "My liege. If you have the time. There is a matter we need to discuss."

Oh yeah. Nightmare is very much in trouble.

Nightmare's voice is still calm as he speaks "Very well. I will meet you in my study after i made sure they go to their chambers."

Ccino feels unamused but he nods with a bow before he leaves the hall with a quick turn.

Nightmare turns back to his new... servants? He never quite liked that word but it works. He turns to his servants and feel his tentacles slowly rise from their position on the ground. They slowly start to idle again as he makes sure the new people learn where their rooms are and where to get food.

He brings Killer to a room more seperate from the others. Beyond the guard positions. Just because Nightmare wants to give him a chance and the fact he doesn't fear him is refreshing doesn't make Nightmare forget how dangerous Killer is.

Fuck this was a mistake.

What if Killer hurts people here?

What if he hurts Ccino?

Killer looks around his room before lounging on the bed "So what is the deal with the other skeleton?" he grins and wiggles his eye brows "Little secret going on there?"

Ngihtmare needs a moment as he wonders what Killer could mean. Then it sinks in and Nightmare feels his tentacles all spasm as he shudders "No." the answer is final and harsh. Killer actually looks surprised.

Nightmare holds his sight and speaks slowly "I will only repeat this once and remember this well. I don't like having to repeat myself." he holds Killer's gaze "Ccino is head of the house. He will remain head of the house. Nothing anyone can say or do will change this." he holds his gaze before straightening himself again as he moves towards the door "Tomorrow we will start training."

Kilelr sputters "We?!"

Nightmare stops and shoots him a look "Obviously. How am I to keep track of your skills and promise if i don't oversee the training myself?" and he leaves the room.

He hurries back through th castle towards his study. Sinking in and out of shadows as his mind, body and soul all know where he wishes to go.

He stops by his study and enters it.

Ccino is already in there. Studying the old masks in the special glass casing.

Nightmare closes the door and Ccino turns to him with a glare "What were you thinking?"

Nightmare gets taken back to a year or two prior. When he was still small. When he had cut himself to practise for the ritual. He hadn't been able to sleep and had been nervous about the apple ritual already. He had wanted to practise his part. to perform a blood oath to promise loyalty until death to his twin.

Ccino had caught him with a knife out.

Nightmare blinks back into the here and now as Ccino looks at him expecting with his arms crossed.

Nightmare blinks as he looks to the side for a moment. How is it that even wiht him being taller than Ccino he still feels small compared to him? "They were innocent."

Ccino looks unimpressed as he crosses his arms "Now with less lies."

Nightmare blinks and shoot his traitorous tendrils a look. No doubt they did something to give his little slight lie away. Ccino jsut raises a brow as he taps his foot.

Nightmare speaks again "Most of them were innocent. I didnt want them to get hang for something they did not do."

Ccino hums as he waits "And the murderer?"

Nightmare looks at Ccino "how did you know?"

Ccino sighs but has a small smile on his face. an old fond feeling as ccino looks at him and the tiny part of nightmare that had been stressed relaxes. Ccino just keeps looking slightly amused "There is a reason i told you to get out more. you only hear so many things from people in the castle nightmare. You need to go out to hear everything from everyone. I know who he is because i go to the market sometimes."

nightmare gives aslow nod as he looks away. So Ccino knows that nightmare brought a serial killer home. great.

Ccino sighs and sits on the couch for visitors and Nightmare joins him instead of sitting in his own chair.

Ccino looks at him "Just... tell me what happened. Why did you decide this?"

Ngihtmare looks at his hands. again slightly shocked to see the goop. It never stains anything yet it feels like a reminder. It is dirty. it isn't the holy light the powers promised. it is weird and looks diseased which is fitting for him. someone who betrayed everyone. who betrayed his twin. He may have gone it to protect dream. But even dream doesn't see this.

Where does that leave him?

Ccino's hand rubs his cheek and Nightmare shakes himself out of it. Ccino looks so worried as he rubs his skull "Hey... it is okay... i am not mad at you. I am worried about you. I am sorry if it seemed like i was mad."

Nightmare knows ccino isn't mad at him. Not like that at least. Nightmare can feel that. But he likes that ccino still tells him as much too.

Nightmare sighs as he leans into the gentle hold and touch. Ccino had always been one of the few to hold him. As his and Dream's babysitter it had been his job. But Ccino had always truly cared about them both. The moment that Nightmare could feel emotions he had been shocked by that.

That Ccino held no hatred for him. Not even a little bit. He enver blamed either Nightmare or Dream for his situation.

Nightmare speaks softly "The... kngihts you picked out. they were amazing. They showed much promise and would have made fine warriors."

Ccino hums as he keeps rubbing his skull "But?"

Nightmare sighs "They hated me. Even if with time they would eventually grow loyal and accept their place. They would forever hold resentment towards me for making them come."

Ccino hums and nods "I get it. It were only options Ngihtmare. there will be more people who fit the job."

Nightmare feels another part of him relax. knowing that Ccino still understands him "Killer wasn't afraid."

Ccino hums questioning.

Nightmare speaks slowly "He wasn't afraid. Not of me. Not of his situation. He stood up when near me. He didn't cower and he didn't hide." he sighs as he leans into the hug. He shouldn't need these anymore. He is an adult now and not that awkward young teen anymore. Nightmare shouldn't still count this much on the other "He saw me and didn't hate me. He knew who i was and didn't hate me. It was... new."

Ccino still feels unsure but he holds him still "And that gave you hope? That maybe if soemone didn't start with that hatred they could maybe become truly loyal?"

Ngihtmare shrugs. He isn't quite sure. he didn't think that far ahead. He just didn't want to lose another person who didn't hate him.

Ccino sighs as he keeps rubbing his skull and the back of his neck "I won't say i trust him. Because i don't. And I worry about you. I am scared he will end up hurting you."

Nightmare rolls his eyes as he answers "I have yet to even lose a fight and i had almost no training." all because of his tentacles and his newfoudn power.

Ccino just holds him tighter "There are more ways someone can hurt you Nightmare."

Nightmare feels the fear of before return. THe idea that somoene would kill Ccino. "If... if him being here makes you feel unsafe i will return him to the guards."

Ccino laughs and shakes his skull "Ngihtmare I am fine. I am not scared for me."

Nightmare keeps holding him as he feels himself start to shake. fears he had been trying to ignore and push away return to the front of his mind "Waht if they realise just how important you are? What if they try to hurt you to hurt me? What if they kill you to hurt me? Ccino maybe it is better if you hide." hide... hide away... out of sight out of mind.

Ccino just rubs his neck "It is okay Nightmare. It is okay. They don't know. and even if they have an idea your reputation adn the past of this country will just make them think I am someone who will be used as sacrifice last. That i will be punished last or least."

Nightmare shakes as he keeps holding the one person who remained "What if they hurt you because of me?"

Ccino is so calm and sure "then it would be on them. Not you. You don't want others to hurt me. It wouldn't be your fualt Nightmare and I will never see it as your fault. It is okay."

Ngihtmare still feels unsure. He made it obviously clear to Killer that Ccino is improtant. Killer is smart and Nightmare has no idea what he could be planning.

Another thought enters his mind. Somethign he had found early on in his ruling.

A very very damning piece of paper. a slave contract.

Nightmare speaks softly "I am sorry you are stuck here..."

Ccino shrugs as he keeps rubbing his back "Not your fault."

Nightmare shakes as he holds him "I.... I can undo it... I can give you back your freedom..."

Ccino had been taken from his home. Sold to the castle with a very clear purpose. First to be a babysitter. and later... well... Drema had been planning to be all powerful and go from young teen to adult in just one ritual. There is a reason Ccino's age had been only 6 years older than them.

Ccino had been suposed to be Dream's from the very start.

Ccino hums "A nice thought. Not that i thought about that contract in a long time. It hardly matters nowadays. Not like I can just leave."

Nightmare feels his grip tighten and his tendrils curl around them. He doesn't want to let go of the one person who cared. The one person he could count on to help him. To give a single shit about Nightmare. But... but how long will it take before Ccino starts hating him? If Nightmare keeps him here?

Nightmare holds him close "I... I can get you a horse... I can give you gold..." He will just use some of the treasury. Ccino deserves it. "I can send some guards with you on your way. You could go wherever you want. Back to your family."

Ccino locks both his arms around his skull and hums softly. an old lullaby and Nightmare stops. The amount of memories almost hurt. It was always Ccino who held him on bad nights. Or when he was sad. Or when everyone pushed him aside again.

Ccino speaks sfotly "Nightmare. When I say i can't leave i don't mean i physically can't leave. It means i don't want to. I decided a while ago i want to stay here Nightmare."

Nightmare shakes but refuses to let go "What... what about your family?" Ccino's fmaily have to love him. Ccino is so amazing. There is no way he isn't missed dearly after he was stolen from them.

Ccino sighs sadly "Nightmare... They have been killed a long time ago. The day i was taken the guards made sure i knew there was nothing to return to. even if i ran." Ngihtmare feels himself freeze. why... why had he thought?

Ccino rubs his skull "It hurt a lot but i accepted a long time ago Nightmare. I accepted that you two were my family now... and well... now it is just you. and it is okay. I am okay with that. I will always support you Nightmare." he grins "You may be older now but i like to think i am still the older brother."

Nightmare feels aprt of himself break as he just sinks fully into Ccino's hold "please don't also leave me." it is weak. it is pathetic. He should be stronger than this. He should have been prepared for this.

Ccino just covers his skull wiht his body and holds him "I am not going anywhere Nightmare. I will be by your side. I swear on my soul."

Nightmare relaxes and lets himself enjoy the comfort he should not need this badly. He enjoys it and can't help but let his eyes slide around the room. His sight finds the masks and remembers.

The masks are the highest honour. only shared with those most special.

He thinks something catlike will fit his older brother.

[marcelineuntitled]

fanart for This Is Not The End by @kings-highway

potentially my favourite fic ever!! <3

[kitkatsgalore]

you have my soul, you have my heart ♡

[solplease]

i've been very excited to post this but here are my ocs haha!! meet lune, cecilia, nox, and aster!

close ups, more info, and a more detailed relationship chart under the cut! this is gonna be a long post haha. there's also some more info about rowan!

cecilia's twin (he's the older twin) ((by two minutes. lol))

the type to go “here to here, i’ll buy it all”

he's got a temper

possessive, devoted, and jealous yandere

people think he's a tad bit insane (and he's self aware mostly,,)

gets into fights often

“want me to kill that guy for you?” (he’s serious btw)

he’s not nice lmao, but to you he is (in his own special way of course..!)

kind of like a cat who will proudly leave dead rats and leaves on your doorstep as a gift bc it thinks you can’t hunt for yourself

hates nox LMFAO

difficult to approach at first but once you get close he won’t ever let you go.

extroverted

LOUD. someone shut him up, this mf does NOT stop yapping bro

annoying as hell and he doesn’t know that lmao

if he absolutely has to, he’ll behave. but it's... odd

constantly needs to be doing something or he’ll get bored lol

has a bit of a sweet tooth (typical)

Bastard (not literally)

played the piano when he was younger with his sister, but he hated playing it

bad terms with his family except for cecilia

huge rebellious streak

shockingly will not kidnap you! everyone already knows you’re his, and he’s yours. and he won’t let anyone get in between you two. yay..!

hates it when you don’t pay attention to him (will absolutely start sulking too)

he’s impulsive but he’s not completely reckless

you probs shouldn’t trust him too much though he has good (????) intentions lol

seems silly (debatable really) but he’s dangerous.

half of the things he says sound like jokes but trust me, he means it. he’d do anything and everything for you, don’t forget!

shockingly pouty and whiny, only in front of you though

him and cecilia have matching bracelets from when they were younger which they both wear to this day

he’s oblivious as fuck, and an idiot

lune's twin (she's younger)

normal (somewhat) ((not really))

sweet and friendly

really likes giving gifts to people she cares about

jumps to conclusion and freaks out easily, but she’s subtle about it

constantly stressed (lune is her brother, so… i get it)

introverted (runs on a social battery)

says things without thinking sometimes

people pleaser

awkward as hell tbh, but it’s really not obvious because she’s good at putting on a front 

kinda has the ”””””princely””””” persona (i didnt know how to describe that better lmao

has abandonment issues

girlfail tbh

hardworking

shes really protective of her loved ones

likes cute things

has issues with her family but still talks to them (lune does NOT)

on really good terms with lune, they’re very close (even though he’s a huge troublemaker that stresses the shit out of her) ((if he fucks around too much she’ll give him a good smack))

packs a good punch

SENSITIVE…

potential yandere? still not too sure if i’ll make her a fully fledged yan but she def has some of the traits lol

her and lune have matching bracelets from when they were younger! (she wears it everyday!)

she doesn’t mean to put on a front it just kinda happens automatically lmao

could kill someone... probably wouldnt tho

used to play the piano with lune, she still plays it now too (as a hobby)

cunning and annoying

def the type to kidnap you

oddly sweet (???)

but also ominous as hell

docile with the one he loves

isolating and manipulative yandere

dislikes lune

nice but you can tell he’s putting up a wall (with strangers and friends)

introverted

wouldn’t put stalking past him tbh

he’s the type that wants to know everything about you.

he has a tough time interacting with others. he feels awkward in social situations

the type to go to a party and spend the whole time petting the cat in the corner (he would not go to the party in the first place tho lmao)

he’s not misunderstood tho, he just can’t socialize and doesn’t really want to

grabs the end of your shirt in an awkward situation (its kinda cute)

takes time to open up, but when he falls for you, his love is so strong, it’s almost overwhelming. so just accept him, alright?

shittiest sleep schedule known to man, like srsly, what is bro doing

this man’s brain probs short circuits every 5 minutes LMFAO go to bed you idiot

really good with his words, very convincing

loves cats

hidden piercings

careful and patient

is really good at taking care of others (but he would only wanna take care of you) you’ll let him, won’t you?

startles easily lol

elf oc

ditzy and kind (to you)

bit of a mean streak (not to you!) 

wants to appear princely in front of you

kinda stupid (a farce but not completely lol)

has a bit of a temper, but nothing too bad

clingy and cunning yandere

two faced

struggles with empathy (he tries, he’s not human, what’s he supposed to do!)

extroverted (?)

he’s really lonely

when he met you for the first time he was absolutely fascinated as he’s never interacted with a human being before!

BLUNT. he’s not used to convos… just give him some time!

at first it was simple curiosity, but that curiosity turned into something… deeper

he was completely alone before this, but now you’re here, and you’re going to stay, right? 

is obsessed with the idea of you staying here with him forever, so why do you keep talking about going home? can’t you stay here? 

but then you bring up the idea of him coming with you, well why didn’t you say that earlier! he's happy to come with you

It takes him some time to grasp certain concepts so please be patient with him, he’s not used to humans

he’s paranoid and hostile to other humans. it’s not fair, he wants all of your attention, so why is everyone trying to take you from him? he doesn’t like that everyone is getting in his way… 

he’s terrified of bugs. will scream incredibly loudly if he sees one lol

he pulled you through a mirror, that’s how you ended up in his land

so if you wanna go back, just ask and he’ll take you! 

gives you jewelry, expensive jewelry. (maybe he’s slipped on a ring before. haha. jk… unless..?)

prefers to stay inside your place because he really doesn’t like people who aren’t you lmao

don’t stray too far from him, okay? he’s always waiting for you

rowan (who i don't have a new drawing of rn </3 sorry!):

he absolutely hates not being a priority, so please don’t ignore him. please? he just wants you to love him.

clingy, devoted, and obsessive yandere

if you don’t reciprocate he might (unknowingly) try to guilt you into liking him back. will appear like a kicked puppy to really sell it (but it’s not an act lol he’s just like this)

at least his intentions are pure! (?????????) but is that better..?

if when (it will happen) you two end up together, he’ll give you the world if you’d asked for it

used to cut his own hair! :D (not great at it tho tbh)

very attentive and will work hard to keep you happy! just don’t forget that you’ll love only each other for the rest of your life. please don’t leave.

has tripped over nothing, will definitely happen again

here's the shitty relationship chart that i rushed </3 its very ugly im sorry HAHA

i really want to clarify that NONE of them will ever hurt you physically on purpose (they might have to pay up for emotional damages tho. they have your best interest in mind ig)

also i would say that they all share some traits like being clingy, devoted, possessive, obsessive, jealous, protective, and loyal. but if i specifically wrote it, it's probs just a bit more intense... just a bit,,, haha...

[becky5203]

Something I find really interesting about Colin as a character, and something I think a lot of people miss about him and his character arc, is his place within his sibling’s birth order. He is the third born boy in a family of 8 children with three sisters between him and his brother 7 years younger than him. He has a unique position within his family in that he is sandwiched between his two older brothers who are closer in age to each other than they are to him and the first born girl of his family who is only a year younger than him, and because of this he falls into this category where he is considered a “baby of the family” despite actually only being the third oldest. You can see it in the way his family acts towards him and talks to and about him. They love him dearly but they don’t respect him as the adult man he is. He wants to grow up and mature and be seen as someone other than as a young boy within his family but he just doesn't know how because his family doesn't treat him like it and they don't expect him to.

It's even been mentioned in interviews that he struggles with being a third son in a world where all you need is "an heir and a spare". He doesn't know where to fit in. Unlike Benedict and Anthony, he was still a child when he lost his father, leaving him feeling somewhat stunted, I think. Anthony was expected to become the head of the family and Benedict was probably expected to take on more responsibility as well, but Colin seemingly became a mama's boy who his mother would lean on and would try to bring cheer and joy to his family in their time of grief. Colin, Eloise, and Franchesca all seem to have their own unique brand of "middle child syndrome", and they deal with it in different ways. El is the second girl, she's not the first to enter the marriage mart but she knows its an inevitability for her, and she's terrified. She, like Colin, wants to find her place in the world, but she does this by being as outspoken and definitive about her life as possible. Franny is also scared but she hides away from it all, trying her hardest to blend into the background. Colin, however, is just lost and drifting. Not being truly seen, not being truly heard despite trying to.

It's brought up in season 1 how Anthony sees him compared to Daphne, who, again, is only a year younger than him, but because she is the eldest girl, and is the first responsible for marrying into another family instead of providing for her own, she is expected to grow up and leave as soon as she can while Colin is expected to take his time, "sow his wild oats", and put aside the notions of leaving his family and starting his own for many years. But he doesn't want to, he wants to grow up, be "taken seriously" as he put it, and find a purpose for his life. He thinks he can do this by getting married and starting a family because he just saw Daphne do it, but Daphne had something he didn't: Love. In season 2, he deals with that fallout by looking anywhere and everywhere for purpose and answers. Trying to ask who really sees him, how he should've handled the Marina situation better, what is his purpose. His hero complex leads him to protecting Penelope and her family, not even realizing that by doing this he's protecting the one who holds his heart, and he has found his purpose, and for a short time he feels fulfilled. But then he's off traveling again, and when he returns he is seemingly overcompensating for how he still hasn't found his purpose by pushing his sensitivity and emotions down, becoming even more flirty and charming to the women of the ton but not making any serious attachments and overall avoiding who he really is. He's putting on a facade because he thinks that's the way he'll finally learn how to grow up. He's been traveling the world to find his purpose only he hasn't realized yet that it's been right across the street this entire time.

While I have my own problems with the idea of the "Bridgerton glow up" within the fandom, that is probably deserving of its own post, I do think that even his costuming throughout the show reflects this characterization. In season 1, he is boyish and sweet looking, still young, naive, and finding his way in the world before his heart is broken. In season 2, he comes back more grown up looking, but in a way so drastic and different to the previous season that it comes off seemingly forced and ill fitting to him and his own style. From what we've seen of season 3, he SEEMS to have finally captured a style, look, and personality that is right for him. But it almost seems too perfect, TOO 'grown up', again, like he's trying to force a change he hasn't fully felt in himself yet.

[cuteniarose]

A conversation I had with my sister this evening, transcribed from memory:

Vi: So Giovanni doesn't feel too strongly about gay people either way EXCEPT when it comes to either Jessie, James and Meowth, or his son, then he quickly becomes homophobic

Me: ...His son?

Vi: Silver?

Me: Who?

Vi: Silver? The Gen 2 rival?

Me: First time I'm hearing of him. All I know about Giovanni's family is that silly theory that he's Ash's father

Vi: HOW do you NOT KNOW Silver??

Me: Do you really think I'm so well versed in Pokemon lore that I'm aware of ANYTHING going on in Gen 2???

Vi: I infodump about Pokemon all the time to you!!

Me: Yeah, but NEVER about Gen 2!!! And come on, cut me some slack, it's not like you know anything about stuff I'm obsessed with

Vi: You mean the mess you made of LoK canon? I know enough about that!!

Me: Like what?

Vi: ......Is Ming-Hua still a swampbender in your AU or did that get retconned?

Me: She is

Vi: Okay good, so that, and uhhhhhhh..... Suiren and Midori are sisters and Mingzan's kids, Suiren has a thing with Kuvira, and......

Me, after some silence: Is that it?

Vi: Well it's not like there's a wiki detailing all the intricacies of your multiverse!!

Me: I did make a masterpost on tumblr about it

Vi: Seriously?

Me: Yeah, because Sydney was interested

Vi: ...Who's Sydney? I know that's not the name of your doctor friend

Me: And what's the name of my doctor friend?

Vi: Kat

Me: Oh, you actually remember

Vi: So she didn't have some kind of realization and decide to change her name?

Me: No, Sydney and I met not too long ago, she's obsessed with Wan, Raava and Vaatu–

Vi: Why do you always find friends with the nichest interests imaginable??

Me: It's a gift. Anyway, she was interested in my multiverse and I got invested in the modern AU she returned to recently after like, ten years. She even let me insert a few OCs into it!

Vi: .....Are Raava and Vaatu still giant spirit kites in the modern AU, or are they human?

Me: They're human

Vi: OH THANK GOD I was scared there'd be some kind of Lovecraftian eldritch horror thing involved. I'm struggling to imagine them as humans though

Me: Well, Raava is a perfect student and piano prodigy who started rebelling in her teens, and Vaatu is her childhood frenemy who's an overdramatic theatre kid Light Yagami kinnie. And all of them smoke weed

Vi, with a half confused, half outraged stare: ....what?

Me: An american thing, apparently? Sydney's from Ohio, they told me that pretty much everyone they know has smoked weed and done at least one other kind of drug before. They even offered to help out if I ever need to write characters using drugs or whatever

Vi, looking absolutely flabbergasted at this point: Ooooo...kayyyy, then..... and here I thought the spirit kites smoke weed because then you can make a pun that they're high as a kite

Me: ...That's dumb

Vi: And everyone smoking weed isn't?

Me: Not everyone! Suiren doesn't smoke weed!!

Vi: Whatever. And now I'm picturing them smoking in their kite forms. They can stick the blunt into that rhombic shape with the dot they have on their fronts

Me: THOSE ARE THEIR EYES

Vi: WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? And I'm pretty sure that's something you lot made up and not canon. Besides, I just finished reading The Kite Runner for school, I definitely know more about kites than you do

Me: Can we drop the high kites topic now?

Vi: K, sure. So, you have a new friend who used an unspecified number of drugs in the past. Great company you're keeping

Me: ....She also showed me her tits once

Vi, going all red in the face: SHE WHAT?????

Me: NOT LIKE THAT. SHE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER AND IT WAS ARTISTIC NUDITY

Vi: You know what? None of my business. Go indulge in your weird modern AU where the spirit kites are human and everyone smokes weed except for Suiren– hey, how does Suiren fit into this?

Me: You know how I said Vaatu is a Light Yagami kinnie? He's convinced that Wan is the L to his Light, his arch nemesis, all that. He quotes Light's monologues all the time and Suiren is his Ryuk. She watches him behaving like a freak, munches on some snack in the corner and enables him because it's fun

Vi: Ah, so she's the kind of friend who's only a friend on the surface and will bail as soon as shit starts going down? I mean, Light asked Ryuk for help exactly once and Ryuk straight up killed him

Me: No, she's actually a pretty good friend, at least when it came to letting Vaatu borrow a skirt and lipstick when he realises he's transfem

Vi: ...YOU MADE THE EVIL CHAOS SPIRIT KITE TRANSFEM???

Me: IT WASN'T MY IDEA I'm just going along with it. Turns out he never wanted to date Raava, he wanted to BE Raava. Why, is that a problem?

Vi: No, just... do you realise how nuts that sounds out of context? LoK's Book 2 antagonist has a gender crisis and realises she's transfem and the one who helps her feel gender euphoria is the daughter of LoK's Book 3 antagonists. Does that not sound INSANE to you?

Me: No?

Vi, after a long suffering sigh: And here I thought what you did to LoK couldn't get any worse... [in reference to the modern AU in general, NOT transfem Vaatu]

TL;DR: @rokurookajima somehow became the topic of conversation between my sister and me for a good 10 minutes :P

[teddybeartoji]

ok so . i got invited to a job interview BUTTTTTTTT BUT BUT BUT it's literally the one job i applied for just bc i was so sick of getting denied and so i just said fuck it BUT I'M NOT QUALIFIED I HAVEN'T HAD A JOB LIKE THAT BEFORE WHY DO THEY EVEN WANNA DO THE INTERVIEW WITH ME😭😭😭😭😭

[running-in-the-dark]

I have officially started painting the walls in the living room.

well, I've mixed/adjusted the paint and painted some swatches and put up masking tape and all that stuff. I'll be painting tomorrow. I'm so excited (to get started, but mostly that I'll finally be all done with evvvverything*)

*until I think of the next thing I want to do, and the next one after that, and -

[quatregats]

This scanned really really badly but I had to draw Ander forcing Mats to reenact this video with him because I think he would think it was the funniest thing ever

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[witheredgardenparty]

Every now and then I see the discourse circulate on this hellsite, and I wonder if people know that the term 'yandere' used to have an extremely specific definition that no longer holds up to how people use it today

[averlym]

"what could possibly go wrong?"

[essektheylyss]

I have finally hit 30k on my current book draft and this section is roughly outlined to my liking and I have worked out a number of later plot kinks in the process and truly, if I can get through this and the next section before the New Year, I might actually stand a chance of finishing this thing with some efficiency. And thank FUCK.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂